MAMA WALTON from The Waltons
Leadership-style: Gentle and softly-spoken, Mama Walton wouldn’t be the sort to aggressively karate-chop the palm of her hand for emphasis while delivering speeches. Her political demeanour would be far more mild-mannered. But make no mistake, any parliamentary heckling would be met with the same sort of disappointed gaze she’d reserve for Mary Ellen if she toyed with the idea of raising her hemline an inch – followed by a stern, “G’night backbench-boy…”
First Act of Parliament: The Pinny Penalty – Prime Minister-wannabe Walton wants to see every homemaker in the land sporting an old-fashioned half-apron with pride, so those caught without, will be charged a hefty fine. Yes, she’ll have this country’s economy back on its feet because as everyone knows, if you look after the pinnies, the pounds will take care of themselves…
Mum most likely to vote for her: Big Family Mum – this mother, with multiple kids herself, would admire Mama Walton’s ability to cook and feed seven kids during the Great Depression. In fact, Mama Walton would probably win the respect of every mum for that.
COUNTESS OF GRANTHAM from Downton Abbey
Leadership-style: As a meek and mumbling folk singer on a reality singing contest might be told, sometimes you don’t have to be the loudest person at the party to have an impact. Countess Cora never needs to raise her voice to be heard, as Lord Grantham will testify when he’s on the receiving end of a disapproving arch of swan-like neck and slight furrow of delicate brow. Lady G would disarm with charm and let’s face it, given her ability to supress sensational scandals including the death of the Turkish diplomat Lady Mary bedded before his demise, and Lady Edith’s out-of-wedlock baby; she’s pretty good in a crisis.
First Act of Parliament: The Formal Attire for Dinner Bill – couture-clad Cora does NOT do casual so would ban jeans, sportswear and anything machine-washable, at dinner. Instead, bowties and bodices should be adorned as a mark of appreciation for Mum’s bolognese.
Mum most likely to vote for her: Grace-Under-Fire Mum – she very much admires Cora’s consistent cool and calm conduct, even when nit-picked by the mother of all mother-in-laws, Dowager Countess of Grantham…
MA LARKIN from The Darling Buds of May
Leadership-style: You’d probably hear Ma Larkin before you saw her – an infectious, raucous chortle would echo along the corridors of Parliament, before she came billowing in, fresh from the farm, dishing out whole legs of roasted pork in a bid to placate the bolshie backbenchers. Both matronly and maternal, Ma Larkin’s tactics would involve canvassing with kindness and meat.
First Act of Parliament: Compulsory Big Hearty Farmhouse Breakfasts for Everyone, Every Day – no one is to get down from the table until they have cleared their plates of triple sausage, bacon, egg, black pudding and doorstep toast on the side with masses of butter. It’s true, she might not win the veggie vote but as a confirmed carnivore, Ma Larkin wouldn’t have a clue what to do with a Quorn sausage and a packet of Fakon.
Mum most likely to vote for her: Country-Loving Mum – to be clear, this is not the sort of mum who listens to Tammy Wynette and wears Stetsons. She, like Ma Larkin, adores outdoor life and would love to see everyone taking the same simple delights in country-living as Ma does. Perfick.
RIA PARKINSON from Butterflies
Leadership-style: Prone to zoning out, Ria is likely to consistently forget what she was saying as she idly daydreams about having an affair – which in itself, makes her pretty much perfect for politics. However, unlike a lot of other politicians, Ria would never actually act on her urges, which means she has two vote-winning qualities very rarely found in politics – self-control and a conscience. And as she’s constantly thinking aloud, Ria would be the first Prime Minister you could truly trust. There’d be no skeletons in her walk-in – just some lovely blouses from M&S.
First Act of Parliament: Free Cooking Lessons for Novices – remember the episode where she can’t set a jelly? This cordon bleurgh candidate understands the perils of the kitchen and the subsequent infuriation of watching an indifferent family dubiously pick at a meal she’s slaved over. Ria would see to it that charred chow was a thing of the past and mealtimes make Mum a cuisine queen, not server of slop.
Mum most likely to vote for her: Frustrated Housewife Mum – she loves Ria’s refreshing honesty and relates to her quest for a little iniquity. Like Ria though, she values her ethics but a vote for Ria would mean she could live vicariously through her almost-affair with lecherous Leonard…
WILMA FLINTSTONE from The Flintstones
Leadership-style: Wilma is definitely not the type to take any flak – remember when Fred used to fib to her so he could go off bowling with Barney? He’d end up with a club wrapped around his sideburns. Without a doubt, as a woman PM, Wilma would have clout. And imagine the field day the tabloids would have? She’d be: ‘The Bedrock Boss’, ‘Wilma the Conqueror’ and ‘The Stone Lady’.
First Act of Parliament: Animals as Domestic Appliances for Every Household – homes up and down the UK would be equipped with pig food disposals and octopus dishwashers. Environmentally-friendly and economical, Wilma’s policy could be a real planet-pleaser…
Mum most likely to vote for her: Primitive Mum – she brings a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘back-to-basics’, yearning for the days of hunter-gatherer men and a big bone to keep her bun in place.
So who has your vote…?
I wrote this for Good Housekeeping! Frankly, if that Nigel Farage can be taken seriously, so can these five TV mums… 5 tv mums we’d vote for in a general election
Copyright belongs to Word To The Mothers – so please don’t nick me stuff!