Archive for the ‘parenting’ category

  1. “BREASTFEEDING YOUR CHILD DOES NOT MAKE YOU THE MESSIAH,” WARN MEDICS

    Virtuous mums around the world are today reeling from the shock news that breastfeeding will not make them saviours of the human race. The extensive studies, carried out by the BMA, found conclusively that lactating women showed no signs whatsoever, of being able to walk on water, or heal the lame. “I absolutely dispute this,” […]

  2. MUM PLEADS GUILTY TO SHAM LIFE ON INSTAGRAM

    A mother of two from Walthamstow, east London, today admitted her life on Instagram, with over 80,000 followers, is a complete and utter lie. Before a packed forum on Mumsnet, mum Serena Dubois was forced to confess as a number of allegations were hurled at her by irate women; all very liberal with the angry […]

  3. Word to the New Mothers

    A troll once informed me, among other uglier, slightly more menacing insults, that she found my blog, glib. I’ll take that, I thought. Clearly I threaten the careers of Dear Deirdre and Dr Miriam Stoppard in no way whatsoever, but if it’s a few juvenile jokes about being a knackered mum, or much reference to […]

  4. 7 Christmas Pissers to Drive a Mum to BOOZE

    Do you sometimes find yourself a little narky this festive time of year? Hard to believe, but I know I can get a tad tetchy. I’m not talking the usual stresses here, like the pine needles filling up your Hoover bag, or trying to locate the end of the Sellotape. Years of experience and many-a […]

  5. 8 Myths About a ‘More Mature’ Mum that can DO ONE!

    Whenever a debate rages in the press about women over 35 getting pregnant and giving birth, it’s like a few slack hacks and gobshites cut and paste the same knackered notion that a bunch of shoulder-padded women have deliberately and selfishly delayed motherhood. The latest to erupt the wrath is actress Tina Malone (her off […]

  6. 10 reasons why my dad is BRILLIANT

    There are dads, and then there is my dad. We’re not talking some run-of-the-mill, bad-dancing dad here, cracking predictable jokes, unable to drink tea from anything other than his special mug (although, all those things are true). He’s truly unique. He’s so funny, both intentionally and inadvertently, he makes Will Ferrell look a little melancholy. […]

  7. 7 Easy Steps to Becoming a Mummy-Blogging BORE

    Partial to a parenting post? I know I am! I like the ones with swear words and gin in, best – but that’s because I am a massive mum-blogging bore. There are legions of us now. We have evolved from quintessential mummies narrating the journeys of our cute kids, into ‘frank’, ‘honest’, ‘normal’ mums, a […]

  8. 5 Reasons NOT to Lose Your Shit Over a Primary School Choice

    Today your Facebook feed will no doubt be littered with people celebrating and lamenting the primary school places awarded to their children. At the time of writing, I don’t know if my four-year-old will be placed with our first-choice primary school and while I would ideally like to send him to a non-religious school (because, […]

  9. 8 New Dads to Blank on Paternity Leave

    Who’s in the mood for some futile stereotypes for a cheap and cheeky laugh? I am! And if you’ve read a blog post of mine before, you won’t be surprised to hear that. I started my blog over a year ago with 7 Types of Mum to Avoid on Maternity Leave and in the interests […]

  10. 7 Ways to Celebrate Mother’s Day like a WILFUL TODDLER

    Mother’s Day is looming large and while talc, tulips and a box of Terry’s All Gold are all very lovely, perhaps you’re looking for ideas to spice up the festivities? Well, look no more! Here are seven ways to celebrate Mothering Sunday like a wilful toddler (you know, for the sheer hell of it), and […]