Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

  1. Dear New Mum, please blank the insta-fashion wankers…

    Dear New Mum, I haven’t written to you before, as I felt, since the rise of the angry mum blogger (a movement in which I’m loud and proud, New Mum), you’ve been a little bombarded with communication. Many of us have taken to the internet in collective reassurance having seen you looking pissed off in […]
  2. 6 Piss-Easy Ways to do Romance Post-Kids

    Valentine’s Day is a crock of shit, isn’t it? My single-girl past will never forgive the Hallmark holiday for subjecting me to years of skulking into an office on February 14th and visibly wincing as some knob trilled: “Did you get a card? Ah, n’mind! Here – have one of my 700 roses!” But it’s […]
  3. 12 Reasons to Celebrate Being a Mum in 2016

    2016 is going to be YOUR year. How do I know? Well, I’m no psychic (because that would make me a liar), but I have looked into the future/ googled some 2016 dates and found 12 reasons for all mums to celebrate the year ahead. Conveniently, there is an entry for every month with a […]
  4. 8 Mum-Friend Types Sure to Piss You Off this Party Season

    Planning a piss-up with a mum friend or two this Christmas? Anticipating the usual last-minute text blowing you out because of some kid-related reason? Bracing yourself for the mate drunk before she’s finished straightening her hair, because she’s forgotten fuck-all sleep and alcohol are not great mixers? Well, those mum mates are just a couple […]
  5. 1 sad mum in imaginary conversation with HOLLY WILLOUGHBY

    Sometimes, when I’m enjoying a rare moment of peace, I think about Holly. Peppa or some doughnuts might be babysitting the kids while I gaze out the window, imagining myself on the This Morning couch enjoying a lovely chat and a lovely cup of (hot) tea with the lovely Holly Willoughby. Oh, and Phillip…
  6. 6 things a mum-to-be REALLY needs to do

    Nursery decorated – check! Maternity bras – check! Every conceivable baby-related thing going (most of which you won’t need) – check! So now, Mum-to-be, it’s time to turn our attentions to you. And I’m not referring to panty pads and rubber rings. This is the stuff that really matters – a sort of pre-baby bucket […]
  7. 9 Open Mummy Letters to Some Famous People

    These days it seems, a celebrity only has to miss her period and mum bloggers are jostling to be the first to a write an open letter to her foetus. While I am generally not a fan of them, open letters are clearly mandatory in the blogging world and I don’t want to be known […]
  8. 8 Signs You’re a Mum in Need of a Holiday

    Since becoming a mum, is your idea of a break a solo trip to the loo and enough time to cut your toenails? Do you feel positively Mediterranean slinging a bit of feta in your shopping trolley, and having a siesta (or rather passing out from exhaustion), on the couch while the kids nap? It […]
  9. 7 signs your house is ruled by a TODDLER TYRANT!

    Has your home become toddler-occupied territory? Do you live within no-go zones changeable on a daily basis? Are orders frequently barked at you? “Don’t sing!” “Stop talking!” No laughing!” It’s likely the toddler Taliban took up residence somewhere between the second and third birthday, and I’m afraid Amnesty and the UN are unable to help. […]
  10. 5 reasons why a working mum is quite handy in an office

    You can spot a woman back from maternity leave a mile off. She’ll be the one with bleary, tear-streaked eyes, clutching and sentimentally sniffing a crusty muslin she’d forgotten about in her deep-pocketed, middle-aged coat. But before you give her a wide berth (no sad dad jokes please), for fear she’ll brandish pictures of her […]